Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
this just has baby written all over it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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