yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
