i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
