put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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