I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Found your dick twin last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
