Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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