and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
