At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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