You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
