why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
