I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
How naked do you want me to be?
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