well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
