are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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