he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
