Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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