I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
