i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
