That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
