I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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