Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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