I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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