i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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