he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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