question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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