I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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