Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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