I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
