Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
