we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
