Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
