so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
