I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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