hell yes lets make some ravioli
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
