I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
