Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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