you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
