so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
