with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
