it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
