Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
