I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
