There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
