I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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