im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
