Tell her she can't have a vagina
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
