I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
