i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
