I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
