You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
we're so committed to being not committed
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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