I have demons in me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
