you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
