she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
All I want is dick and wine.
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