Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
