I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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