I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
