that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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