no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize