Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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