dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
